Bob's Porch - Presented by Tyler Perry

This sounds like fun

2011-06-18T01:12:00.002-04:00

Do you like the thrills of the open road? Do you like them even more with the company of a special lady friend? If so, you must contact the Fairfax County Court to find out who this hero is.

AND WE'RE BACK! Bob's Beebs of the Day.

2011-06-18T00:38:00.003-04:00

After a long hiatus, Bob's Porch is back in action. To kick things off, why not start with an easy one.

MMMMMMM

Quick Picks

2010-03-26T15:39:00.007-04:00

Thoughts

2010-03-26T03:12:00.004-04:00

God I hope they are not the favorites. Favorites: French fries getting served by Americans or hot dogs getting served by Chinese...

Watch on MUTe

2010-03-26T03:04:00.001-04:00

I dislike angry music.

paintttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

2010-03-26T02:59:00.001-04:00

Afternoon Vid

2010-03-24T16:49:00.000-04:00

200,000+? When Did This Happen?

2010-03-22T21:26:00.005-04:00

We are that good that we don't have to post anything for three months and surpass the 200k mark. Damn it feels good to be a blogger.

In other news, what would be the best number Harrison Barnes could don when he comes to Chapel Hill next year?

Here are my front runners:

(21)

(3- Love You Radiooo!!)

(25- Don't Really Care About You Jasonnn!)

Danny Green is Lucky

2010-01-20T11:34:00.002-05:00

Wake Up with the A- Team

2010-01-15T09:58:00.001-05:00

evening laughter

2010-01-14T17:00:00.002-05:00

Who I Want

2010-01-09T11:03:00.002-05:00

Wake Up with One Republic

2010-01-09T10:59:00.000-05:00

in 6 months g105 will be playing this song

The Game

2010-01-07T11:50:00.003-05:00

Round Three comes down the actual game itself.
"They're two of the most tradition-rich and storied programs in college football, and they'll be meeting for the first time in nearly 30 years when Alabama and Texas clash in the BCS National Championship Game. It's also the first time since the 2005 classic between Texas and Southern California that two unbeaten teams have met for the BCS national title."

I am not going to have much insight on this game no more than your run of the mill sports website, but I do want Texas to win. Not only is there all this hoopla about the SEC and blah blah blah, but I enjoy watching them play. I like Colt (BA name) and his girlfriend. Jordan Shippley is fun to watch too reminds me of Ed McCaffrey(both white). Bama, Browens, love ya, but Hook em Horns.

Texas 27 - 23

(any excuse for a Matthew McConaughey Picture)

Better Alumni...

2010-01-07T11:40:00.004-05:00

This toss has to deal with the overall greatness of the people that attended Texas and Alabama...

The most notable Crimson Tide Alumni...
Bernard "Bernie" Madoff- yep the man himself...
Rece Davis- I wonder who this ESPN commentator will be pulling for??
Stephen Brent Lowery- that was for you Birdman

The most notable Longhorn Alumni...
Robert Anthony Rodríguez- another one for birdman
Farrah Fawcett - RIP(chances there is a montage to her tonight?)
Laura Bush - as did her daughter Jenna

These people all have made a name for themselves one way or another, but one alumnus has taken the cake and will live in infamy, that man? Texas Longhorn alumni Matthew Mcconaughey. He has been the star of so many classics such as: Dazed and Confused, EDtv, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Tropic Thunder and most notably Fool's Gold. And that is why Texas takes round 2 of this BCS showdown...one for the ladies (and The View From Below)

Hotter Females

2010-01-07T11:01:00.007-05:00

Today will be deicated to the national championship game, we will be have toss ups through out the day. The first one which school has the more attractive female sex??

Example 1 for 'Bama.

Example 1 for Texas

Example 2 for 'Bama

Example 2 for Texas>
Example 3 for 'Bama

By a slim margin and just judging for these pictures Alabama take round 1 in this best of three show down with the Longhorns...

Wake up with Football

2010-01-07T10:58:00.001-05:00

number 1 reason why I wished he ran for president

2010-01-07T01:33:00.000-05:00

*see the 1:30 mark and beyond

See more funny videos and Music Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Cool. Kinda.

2010-01-06T23:23:00.003-05:00

We'll (our beloved Chiefs) get MR Weis. I am unsure what to think about this at the moment. I do like the fact he is not the head coach. I do like the fact that this is not college football. I do like the fact that he WAS a great Offensive Coordinator. But I am hesitant, just the hysteria that comes with Weis might be a little much for Kansas City, we can only wait and see...

Who is coming with me?

2010-01-06T20:17:00.000-05:00

Jersey Shore cast members to appear at McFadden’s
by Emily Cahn
Two members of MTV’s hit reality show Jersey Shore will make a special guest appearance at McFadden’s Jan. 19.

JWoww and Pauly D will head to the popular bar for a spring break themed evening.

From 8 p.m. until midnight, the bar will serve up $5 Jagerbombs, and have bikini and fist pumping contests, as well as a chance to win a free spring break trip.

Tonights Game

2010-01-06T17:34:00.002-05:00

One Word: Silly

This game should have been played a month ago.

CEntral Michigan 45
Troy 30

Thats all I got

Afternoon Wake Up Video

2010-01-06T15:23:00.001-05:00

See more funny videos and Music Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Odd

2010-01-05T22:10:00.002-05:00

So I think I uncovered something that even the Garbage Disposal did not know. Clint Dempsey (yes, the American soccer player) is a rapper. I was going to save this video/rap/soccer video/random music video for the wake up, but I could not wait. So here is to the US soccer team and Big Hawk (the other rapper in the video)

ACC

2010-01-05T14:15:00.004-05:00

I like the ACC I think it is the best conference in college. There is always a school that is in the top tier in all sports. From Women's soccer to baseball to basketball to football. Which brings me to this post. Georgia Tech Football. Personally, I hate the triple option and would prefer to watch the "fun and gun" or a spread offense, but Mr. Dwyer is a champ and I will go with the GT offense vs the Iowa Defense anyday. Plus I like the stud, Derrick Morgan (and no not the guy from Criminal Minds) that GT has on D. So take GT -5.5 and the Over (51). Expect a score of 30-23 in favor of the Yellow Jackets.

oh and there is this girl that represents Georgia Tech from Playboy's "Best of the ACC edition" (obvi NSFW)

no words

2010-01-05T12:30:00.002-05:00

• Playing without Marcus Ginyard and Will Graves, UNC was outscored 39-3 from 3-point range.

WOW. Really? 12-1 run to finish the game and Heels lose.

yep we just lost to the cougars

wake up with dispatch

2010-01-05T12:29:00.000-05:00

Wake up with Vince Carter

2010-01-04T12:52:00.001-05:00

Greatest thing ever

2010-01-02T15:24:00.002-05:00

A NIGHT AT THE DAWWWWWG POUND. My favorite part is 1:48 onward. Enjoy

Only Game I Care about today

2010-01-02T15:11:00.003-05:00

East Carolina vs Arkansas

Liberty Bowl-

Go Pirates. This is the first meeting ever between the two schools and ECU has a lot more to prove than the Razorbacks. ECU has one, count it 1, win over teams from the SEC. I like Patrick Pinkney to have a solid game againist a Razorback team that has not won on the road this season. Though Ryan Mallett is a NFL caliber qb I believe that ECU will take this one after a heartbreak last year. Expect this to be a high scoring game (take ECU +8 and the over)

ECU 37 Arkansas 31

Tim Tebow

2010-01-02T15:02:00.002-05:00

Gave me the big F-U last night.

C/ATT YDS TD INT
Tebow 31/35 482 3 0

I hate the Florida Gators almost as much as I hate Duke. I really wanted Cincy to come out on top of that game and for something terrible to happen to Tebow, but I will give hime some props. That was a hell of a performance. So here is to you Mr. Tebow and to exactly why you are better than everyone else...

--Tim Tebow can get Chick-Fil-A on Sundays.
--People with amnesia still remember Tim Tebow.
--Tim Tebow hits blackjack with just one card.
--The only reason you're still conscious is because Tim Tebow hasn't stiff-armed you in the face.
--When Tim Tebow was a kid, he made his mom finish his vegetables.
--Superman's only weakness is kryptonite. Tim Tebow laughs at Superman for even HAVING a weakness.
--Tim Tebow doesn't do pushups. Instead, he pushes the earth down.
--Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas.
--Tim Tebow counted to infinity. Twice.
--When life gives Tim Tebow lemons, he uses them to kill terrorists. Tim Tebow hates lemonade.
--When Google can't find something, it asks Tim Tebow for help.
--What color is Tim Tebow's blood? Trick question. Tim Tebow does not bleed.

good afternoon

2010-01-02T15:00:00.001-05:00

welcome to 2010

Quick Picks

2010-01-01T09:42:00.003-05:00

Auburn vs Northwestern-love the Northwestern coach
take NW +9 and the Over (55)
Auburn Wins 38-30

LSU vs Penn State
-I want to hit Les Miles in the face
regardless of my feelings take LSU (-1) and the Over (43)
LSU wins 34-24

Florida State vs West Virginia-Last game for Bowden, no way Im going againist my team
take FSU (+3) no questions asked, oh and the Under (60)
FSU wins 31-27

Ohio State vs Oregon-love the QB for both teams, should be fun to watch
take Ohio State (+4.5) and the Under (51)
Oregon wins 24-20

Cinny vs Florida
-tebow's last game, so what cinny has something to prove
take cinny (+13) and the over (58)
Cinny wins 30-10 (tebows stat line 12-30 126yds 1 td 4 ints)

oh and expect to see a lot of her today:

wake up to 2010

2010-01-01T09:39:00.001-05:00

Beeb Canadian Style

2009-12-30T12:33:00.005-05:00

Here is a shout out to all my Canadian friends...
LEYLA MILANI

This beeb has appeared in the World Wrestling Entertainment Diva Search 2005, Deal or No Deal, Sleeper Cell, Las Vegas...

...Rules of Engagement, Attack of the Show!, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, Stacked, Desire, Wanted, Tonight Show with Jay Leno...and the list goes on.

Oh, Canada!

2 more Games

2009-12-30T12:02:00.004-05:00

Idaho vs Bowling Green
I'll just say this. I know jack about either team. The game is in Boise Stadium and it will be snowing. I think the edge goes to Idaho (+1). As for the 68 pt o/u I think the weather will be too much of a factor for them to put up that many points. Go with the under.

Idaho 31-24

(impossible to find attractive Idaho people, so here is the next best thing)

Arizona vs Nebraska

This should be a hella good game. With a Nebraska who almost single handedly changed the BCS to a playoff system and an Arizona team who has beaten 5 bowl bound teams including the likes of USC and Oregon State. I love Suh out of Nebraska and more importantly depending how this years NFL draft pans out he could be on my beloved KC Chiefs. So with that said I would take the over (41) and Arizona (+3)

(much easier to find hot Arizona girls)

Nebraska 28-27

wake up video

2009-12-30T11:53:00.001-05:00

forget about being hung like a horse...

1 thing we learned

2009-12-29T23:26:00.002-05:00

dont ever trust my bowl predictions on a Tuesday night. I'll be better come tomorrow or the next day?

Garbage Disposal Shout Out

2009-12-29T20:28:00.000-05:00

Do you like Cats?

(Worth the entire 4:23)

Bowl Previews

2009-12-29T10:29:00.003-05:00

So today we have two bowl games. One that I am very excited about and one that well doesn't seem too interesting.

UCLA vs Temple
This is the first ever meeting between the two teams. UCLA is 3 games below .500 in their conference and stands at a 6-6 record with their best victory over 22 ranked Arizona. This Temple team is 9-3 and going bowling for the first time since 1979. I do not know much about either team, but watch out for Kai Forbath the Lou Groza Award winner. My advice would be take the under (45) and for the game to be put on the leg of Forbath take Temple (+4.5)

Prediction- Temple 20-17

Miami vs Wisconsin
This is going to be a 4 quarter highlight reel for Jacory Harris. The sophomore quarterback is 15th in the nation in passing yards and the Wisconsin passing D ranks 66th. At the start of the season every ESPN commentator was sucking his nuts and naming him the best player in college football, but then he came back to earth and actually has thrown for the most interceptions in NCAA this season. I still like the kid and see his skinny ass carry Miami to a win. My advice would be take the over (57) and just like FSU did last year expect Miami to cover (-4) by a large margin

Prediction 37-21

Wake Up Vid

2009-12-29T10:20:00.002-05:00

good night vid.

2009-12-29T03:21:00.002-05:00

yep here is to all the Kenny G fans, since I know there are a bunch out there

all Kenny's songs sound the exACt same, so i aplogize if you may have heard this one before.

Movie Review

2009-12-28T14:39:00.003-05:00

He's Just Not that into You

Young women forever stuck at square one in the dating game...that should really be the name of the movie. This movie is midly entertaining with some insane characters who act foolishly and way over the top to get a guy. The movie is quite predictable, but overall I would recommend it to anyone. Great date movie. Thats about all I got. 2.6 stars out of 4.

oh and Scarlett Johansson is smoking hot in this movie.

Afternoon Video

2009-12-28T14:34:00.003-05:00

Guess who got a computer?

2009-12-28T14:32:00.002-05:00

Ok...its time we had a talk

2009-11-27T02:58:00.002-05:00

This little blog of ours has take a hiatus for too long. I know you all still check this site, like you are right now just to see if anything has been updated. I'm here to tell you it is and will be.

So...now that we've had the talk and we're all on the same page (which means all of you bro's that haven't been posting get back on the bangbus)...let me post some food for thought.

condoms?

I know, especially in our very liberal society we're all not longer taught abstinence but now safe sex and condoms are a necessity if you going to have sex, but are they really worth it? I say yes. and heres why:

1. she says shes on the pill. keyword...SAYS. I don't trust women. or my sperm. both are very sneaky.

2. We last longer. Sure, in porn the men go for 45:02 minutes and all rival horses in size, but its not a performance enhancing drug, just performance enhancing equipment...like a helmet or a baseball glove.

3. You can change the color of your little guy...theres nothing funnier than seeing you're prized possession black/green/blue/purple (BUT NOT RED).

4. I lost my train of thought. happy thanksgiving.

Mud Digger B*tches

2009-11-08T21:23:00.001-05:00

4 not bad.

2009-10-29T14:26:00.002-04:00

awesome 4s.

Fantastic Four?

Four Horsemen?

the movie Four Brothers?

Nope none of the above.

UNCs Preseason Rank: 4. not too shabby. So here is to Ginyard, LD2 and Will Graves???

And here is an oldie but goodie for you guys to enjoy

GaMe Day!

2009-10-29T14:12:00.003-04:00

LINE is 15.5

that is embarrassing in itself.

tis why you should TAKE THE POINTS. I understand that VaTech is the defending ACC champs and UNC blows more games than (insert any pornstars name here) does cocks. But with that said I still have an inkling that Carolina is going to keep it close, and might even pull off a huge upset. We have four key players returning, 3 O linemen and big money TE Pianalto.There is no doubt in my mind Yates with either throw a pick or lose a fumble, but that is life. Go heels, go Mr. Wang, get drunk and enjoy the game.

Final Score: 30-27 Heels WIN.

hey dude!

2009-10-29T14:11:00.000-04:00

afternoon VVIIDD

2009-10-27T14:27:00.001-04:00

Beeb

2009-10-25T12:23:00.006-04:00

Who knows when the last Beeb appeared on the site, but I am in the mood for a good one. So in honor of Texas' thrashing of Missouri I give you Colt McCoy's girlfriend. Yep she is smoking hot, her name: Rachel Glandorf

no he is not banging all of them (or maybe he is) but the middle one is Rachel

yep she is hot

Im sorry there are not more pics of this chick, but this will have to do for now. enjoy.

Picks

2009-10-25T12:11:00.002-04:00

Take Vikings +6, really undefeated and a six point dawgggg. that is wild. (and CP3 is on NFL Live right now, while "we gonna run this town tonight" plays, pretty dirty) and since we are on the 6 point dawg, Chargers only favored by 6, take the bolts -6 against KC. Rodgers is going to put up some numbers against the Browns, take the pack -9.5. Three picks instead of all the games, I hope you enjoyed them and here is a video to enjoy. (P.S thanks for hanging out this weekend Burgh)

Start them Sit them

2009-10-25T12:06:00.003-04:00

Running Backs Edition

Start: Joseph Addai, Colts. Despite being overshadowed by Peyton Manning, and splitting carries with rookie Donald Brown, Addai has had a solid year – he’s on pace for about 1100 total yards and 13 touchdowns. He’s not seeing as many touches as he did in his best years as the Colts’ featured runner, but he’s making the most of the carries he gets, and he’s still getting a lot of work in the passing game. This week he has a great opportunity against the Rams. St. Louis has the league’s 26th ranked rushing defense (132.5 yards per game) and has allowed nine touchdowns on the year.

Start: Ryan Grant, Packers. Grant is pretty much the definition of an average fantasy back. He’s on pace for about 1100 yards rushing with 6 TDs, and another 40 catches and 300 yards receiving. Not bad, but he certainly hasn’t been anything to write home about (The Packers were even trying to upgrade before the trade deadline). This week, though, he gets the Browns, who not only have one of the league’s worst rush defenses, but have reportedly been ravaged by the flu. (One of the infected – pro-bowl defensive tackle Shaun Rogers).

Sit: Tim Hightower, Cardinals. Hightower has been a solid contributor, especially in PPR leagues, as he’s managed three touchdowns and 29 catches in Arizona’s five games. However, this week the Giants will be a tough matchup for Hightower and the Cardinals. The one positive, if you do need to start him, is that the Cardinals could easily fall behind early, allowing Hightower many opportunities to get involved in the passing game. He generally takes all the three-down work over his platoon-mate Chris Wells.

Sit: Glenn Coffee, 49ers. Coffee did a decent, if unspectacular job, filling in for injured Niners’ star runner Frank Gore. But it appears Gore is set to make his return this week, relegating Coffee to the bench, and to your fantasy bench as well.

Wake up Video

2009-10-25T12:06:00.001-04:00

REMIXXXXX

The Game

2009-10-22T13:07:00.004-04:00

Where is the Chase? and how do I cut to it?

UNC- 31
FSU- 30

Yep that is right folks I picked UNC to beat FSU today. So dont question where I stand and who I root for more. I choose them because I want them to win. Do I think they will win? I'm not quite sure. FSU is quicker than UNC. FSU has more big time play makers, but if UNC can pick apart FSU's secondary with Highsmith than UNC will dominate. As long as the D (which has played up to its potential this year) can hold off Ponder, Easterling, Fortson and the 3 position player Reid than UNC will win, with that said it boils down to can the CBs and DBs shut them down than that is the game. Good Talk and here are some hot pics of UNC and FSU fans

Da Picks

2009-10-11T00:05:00.002-04:00

Lions +11, doubt it, take the Steelers

Cowboys -8.5, that is a lock against the KC Cassels

Vikings D. Vikings O. Nuff said. take them -10.5

Raiders +15.5. Injured Giants D, plus Eli being Gay= a 30-16 game

Take Cardinals -5.5. Warner rebounds off 2 weeks rest

Take the PATs, i hate Brady, but bronocos not a legit team.

MNF Jets win! Jets win!

The Set List

2009-10-09T15:37:00.003-04:00

Rain
Save tonight
Meet Virginia
Umbrella-> Weight -> Umbrella
Home
Grey street
Say it aint so
Smack That
These Are Dreams
Chicken Fried

Alright
You and Me
Little black backpack
Buy You a Drank
Semi Charmed Life
Dammit
Love in this Club
What I Got-> Sweet Home Alabama

Hey Ya
LA Saturday Night-> Party in the USA
No Boundaries
Slow Motion-> Wonderwall
Wagon Wheel
Poker Face
What I Hear
All For You
Son’s Gonna Rise
Ride Wit Me
Can’t You See-> Hey Jude

Yep the Mash-ups will be Glee-esque. I know you all are jealous.

Bird is the Word's Picks

2009-10-08T08:50:00.003-04:00

I was watching Seinfeld the other night, and decided that I could blow Vincent's Picks out of the water. While I think The View from Below would love a Gene Pick, I will give people that enjoy something other than Weekend at Bernie's II a dose of Bird is the Word's picks.

My first pick is one of Paul Newman's first. It is a 1956 drama based on the life of boxer Rocky Graziano. Great movie and reason #2073 why Paul Newman is badass. If you look close you can see Steve McQueen in one of his first roles.

Pick Number two is a more current drama. From 2008 this stars Gwyneth Paltrow, Joaquin Phoenix and some girl that was in hocus pocus.

But the point is that this is a great movie, and the best I have seen in the past year. It is dark and has great performances. This was supposedly Joaquin Phoneix's last film. You might not remember this film because Phoenix looked like this whenever he was trying to promote the film on Letterman.

Okay now to the last pick.

This is a tv pick (assist from Garbage Disposal). This is a series on Starz. It has lots of good people, lots of cameos, very dry, pretty damn funny, very underrated.

World Series

2009-10-06T20:32:00.002-04:00

The fact that the playoffs have started before I even started to write this post, its time for a true prediction. The AL is quite easy, after all the dust settles there is only one team with the pitching and hitting that can win the AL. And in 2013 with the future AL CY Young winner, Greinke will be on their team.

Yankees

The NL is a little different. For instance, the ROckies, way hot. The Phillies first btob winners since 75? The Dodgers, Manny-nation? and the NL winners the...

Cardinals

Cardinals in 6

4 Days

2009-10-05T15:14:00.002-04:00

Until the Burgh gets paid to play. Talk about it.

Who: The Burgh
What: Big Time
When: This Friday 530-830
Where: DC (the saloun)

Bitches be there.

Wake up Video

2009-10-05T15:13:00.000-04:00

A little late...

Football Predictions

2009-10-04T15:05:00.002-04:00

For the late games and for MNF:

Jets-31
Saints-30

Sanchez is fun to watch.
Bills- 20
Miami- 17

This prediction is for JD

Cowboys- 24
Broncos- 10

First loss, Orton throws 3 picks

49er's- 37
Rams- 17

The Rams suck

Steelers- 30
Chargers- 21

Both qbs throw for over 300 yards

Vikings- 33
Packers- 27

Overtime thriller. Lives up to the hype.

Happy Thursday!

2009-10-01T10:27:00.001-04:00

I am clearly bored.

2009-09-30T11:27:00.002-04:00

And though my latest escapades may point otherwise...I like cougars (not to be confused with the new Courtney Cox-Arnette show=bad). So bored on my couch, I wanted to do some research on cougars. First, it was necessary to actually define a cougar and although Urbandictionary is always a funny source, wikipedia is typically more reliable. i have learned that there are different grades to cougar-ism:

Chickenhawk—an older gay man who sexually pursues younger males
Cougar—a woman over 40^[9] who sexually pursues younger men, typically more than eight years her junior. (also Cradle robber or cradle snatcher)
Cub—the younger male who is supposedly going out with an older woman
Jailbait—a sexually attractive person (primarily female but could refer to a male) who is below the legal age of consent
Manther—the male version of a cougar (me?).
Puma—a woman in her thirties who dates a younger man (i.e. 20-somethings), often considered to be "cougars-in-training" (C.I.T.).
Silver fox—an attractive older male who is pursued by (generally much) younger women (you all can only call me Silver Fox from now on)
Sugar baby—the person provided for by a sugar daddy/mommy
Troll—a man, often a less-attractive older one, who cruises for sex. (my personal favorite)

even more hilarious is how the article describes a "half-your-age-plus-seven rule" to determine if the age-disparity is socially acceptable which "defines the minimum dating age as 14." (cough pauly walnuts cough)

anyways, if your into cougars like me and just cant get lucky, check out dateacougar.com where you can specify the age of the cougar up to 99 yrs old: "This site is the premier cougar dating site for single guys looking to meet a rich older cougar who likes young guys and sex."

2009-09-30T11:26:00.000-04:00

Week 3 Super Bowl Prediction

2009-09-29T21:46:00.002-04:00

AFC Championship Game

Colts vs Ravens

NFC Championship Game

Giants vs Packers

Super Bowl

Giants vs Colts (MANNING BOWL)

COLTS: 31-21

Song of the Week

2009-09-29T21:45:00.000-04:00

Usher is in the official music video, but I could not embed it from Youtube. Enjoy!

Website of the week

2009-09-29T15:18:00.003-04:00

I know this is old and mostly everybody knows about it...but I dont care. right now I'm shooting for quantity, not quality in my posts.

Textsfromlastnight.com

Reading the posts on this website is magical because I feel like they are written by our friends and they make me actually believe that females do really like penis. here are a couple of clutch posts...

(518): i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

(858): Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.

(317): You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...

Adult Film Idea

2009-09-29T15:06:00.002-04:00

I came up with this idea a while ago, but its time to publish it so it doesn't get stolen.
This is genius-Nora the Explora

am i the only one creeped out by this? This picture is way more believable...

This is a unique film because it is based on a true story of a young girl who travels to a foreign country only to find herself on a magical quest. This quest, much like the boardgame Risk, requires global domination of the cock and she must sleep with a man of every nationality. Good luck to you on your expedicktion!

welcome back bobbie's porch-we've missed you

2009-09-29T15:04:00.000-04:00

Hot Tennis

2009-09-09T20:54:00.003-04:00

On the Court tonight...

vs.

Who will win? It's close, but the winner goes to...

AMERICA, YAY

US OPEN

2009-09-08T15:17:00.004-04:00

With the assist to Garbage I present to you the greatest doubles match (date) ever?
Over
Under
Dunhams
IN?

2 Pros 1 Bro

Burgh's favorite number is...

2009-09-07T17:39:00.000-04:00

17.

PITTSBURGH(AP) The Pittsburgh Pirates ' not-so-magic number is zero, or the number of winning teams they've had during a record-setting run of futility over 17 forgettable seasons.

The Chicago Cubs assured the Pirates of an unwanted place in baseball's record book, getting two homers from Derrek Lee and an effective start from Ted Lilly while beating the last-place Pirates 4-2 on Monday.

By losing their 10th in 11 games, the Pirates are guaranteed of finishing below .500, just as they have every season since 1993. The 17 consecutive losing seasons represent the longest streak for any team in the four major North American pro team sports, and only the Phillies (1933-48) have also had as many as 16 in a row.

CONGRATS at least they set some type of record...

Movie Recommendation of the week

2009-09-04T10:43:00.002-04:00

This is what a classic movie is all about. Some people might completely write it off because it is black and white and because sadly Michael Bay did not direct it:

But there is good news, there are good movies outside of Michael Bay. This movie has amazing performances all around and is one of the many reasons why Paul Newman is badass. Many people consider it one of the best sport movies of all time. Everybody that disagrees, thinks this way because they don't think pool is a sport.

Watch it, and if you don't like it, then you should probably rent this movie instead:

Actually, on second thought, I might go watch that movie as well.

All Nude

2009-09-01T21:15:00.002-04:00

Where the hell is everyone? Garbage Disposal come back to humanity please. In the meantime, here is something funny.

Video Wake Up

2009-08-28T10:24:00.004-04:00

In honor of the Bearded One's roommate.

Happy Birthday to the 2 GREATEST pro athletes EVER!

2009-08-24T21:26:00.002-04:00

Garbage Disposal Just Came

2009-08-22T15:21:00.002-04:00

He likes cats, and i think boobs too.

This stings

2009-08-22T15:16:00.002-04:00

I like college baseball.

Google is Funny

2009-08-22T10:39:00.003-04:00

This might have to be a weekly feature.

Vick's Facebook

2009-08-22T10:33:00.002-04:00

.

Click to enlarge.

wake up shake up

2009-08-21T14:39:00.001-04:00

Video Gamers are fat, old, and depressed

2009-08-21T13:54:00.003-04:00

WOW who saw this coming?

We'll Never Tell

2009-08-21T13:49:00.002-04:00

CNN has an article today about a blogger, PittGirl, who outed herself and was subsequently fired from her job. We here at Bob's Porch want to let you know that we'll never tell you who we are, never!

Chillin, on the back roads?

2009-08-20T19:15:00.002-04:00

Saw this video. Yeah

Reminds me if Duce-y and lil wayne did something together?

Video Wake Up??

2009-08-20T18:33:00.001-04:00

Get excited for an excellent soccer season!

p.s ESPN showing two soccer matches a week, count it.

Baseball

2009-08-20T18:22:00.002-04:00

The Royals suck

The Yankees are good

Braves, Os and Pirates somewhere in the middle.

Sounds like the same ole year in baseball to me.

Does This Guy?

2009-08-20T18:17:00.003-04:00

look like someone who would rape a 22 year old girl on a private island, which only is accessible by private boat...

YEP!

and for those of you should aren't quite sure who the picture is of, that would be magician David Cooperfield.

The magician raped the 22-year-old victim, sexually assaulted her on two other occasions and threatened to kill her, court papers filed in Washington state claim.

"The woman says her nightmare unfolded two summers ago, when the 52-year-old performer invited her to his $50 million private retreat on Musha Cay after meeting her at a show in Washington state...After the two dined, they went to the magician's room to watch a movie..."

Diner- check
Movie- check
Raping a girl 31 years younger than me???? Eessh

Worst Golf Year Ever

2009-08-17T11:47:00.004-04:00

This turned from the best golf year ever to the worst very quickly

This is who should of won all the majors.

This is who actually won the majors.

Mexico

2009-08-12T17:37:00.001-04:00

Go Away.

FROM????

2009-08-12T17:35:00.002-04:00

Florida State!

HOUSTON (AP) -- Free agent guard Von Wafer says he has signed a two-year deal with Olympiakos of Greece.

Wafer made nearly $800,000 last season with the Houston Rockets.

Wafer told KRIV-TV on Wednesday that the agreement allows him to opt out after the first year with the Greek team, but only to return to the NBA. He said Olympiakos gave him the best offer he had received all summer.

Terms were not released. Wafer's agent did not return a message left Wednesday by The Associated Press.

Read more: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/basketball/nba/08/12/wafer.ap/index.html#ixzz0O0Up8nHN

Make money money money!

Presented Without Comment

2009-08-12T00:56:00.000-04:00

Spotted: Null Setter

2009-08-10T23:22:00.005-04:00

So apparently this weekend, an anomaly was sighted at XS in Vegas. I'm talking of course, about a girl who falls into the previously discussed null set. The question is, how does one rate this girl on the supposedly infallible area code system? The answer is one that has required some deep thought and a refill on my ulcer medication (true story). On the one hand, I believe that since the area code system includes the binary scale, it cannot be bested. However, occasionally in a man's life, he comes across a woman so undeniably perfect in every regard that it seems insulting to relegate her to a simple scale. From my understanding, this happened this past weekend. Simply put, she broke the area code.

The solution? Give her an 818. I know it makes no sense, but just follow me. Turn that 818 to the side, each digit individually, like so:

The result is a girl whose body and personality is a rated at infinity and who breaks the binary scale. 818 is also the area code for the San Fernando Valley, so maybe that means something. Probably not, though. In order to preserve the integrity of the area code system, the following conditions must be met to make this girl a Null Setter:
1. Every single person in the group must agree that she is worthy.
2. Rating may not be used after midnight on any single drinking night.
3. Potential Null Setter (PNS) (... haha, I'm 12 years old) must be actually met and conversed with in person (so no Megan Fox ratings).
4. PNS may not work in the business of pleasure (so no porn stars, strippers, or hookers). These women's job description is to make you think they are null setters, whether they are or aren't. This means potential PNS Ashlynn Brooke is disqualified. Also means Mercedez from the Royal Palace is, too. Sorry, Pauly Walnuts.
5. The following day, all in attendance must continue to agree that said PNS is actually a NS. This allows for some time for everyone to digest the issue and make sure she is truly worthy.
6. In order to come to this conclusion the following day, it is strongly suggested that you compare the PNS to any Chapel Hillers (919s) you may have encountered in your life or, should you be so lucky, any other Null Setters. Make sure that there is no one else better than her.
7. If you have met more than 1 Null Setter in a year, you need to seriously reconsider the rating for one of them.

If there is any doubt, a final decision will be reached by this man:

This issue is one that needs to be further developed, but I believe this is a good start. More to come at a more sober point.

Guess Who Likes Screaming Baboons Too

2009-08-07T21:57:00.002-04:00

Bob's Porch Private Eye

2009-08-07T16:58:00.003-04:00

Finding out information about people has become so easy due to Spacebook, MyFace, and Twatter. And thanks to sites such as Wikipedia, you can find the necessary information you need to distinguish from a famous person to someone with the same name.

Example:
I always wondered what Bill Simmons was getting paid for his "work" (read: only podcasts and the occasional mailbag) at ESPN. Turns out, he's not doing too bad for himself, what with his books and famous friends. I decided to investigate a little further and wanted to find out where he lived and how nice his house is.

Step 1: Go to white pages online and type in William Simmons, Los Angeles.
One of the names on the list is a MR. William Simmons III whose household includes a wife Kari Simmons (Quick stop to Wikipedia reveals his wife's name)

Step 2: copy address to google maps...and voila...not too shabby those digs.

Step 3: How much is the market value of the house? Journey over to Zillow reveals that the home is worth $3.1 million. Built in 1925 and has 4,217 sq. ft.

He always mentions that his house is really old and that he converted the pool house to his office, so this appears to be pretty accurate. And now you can mock me on my lack of life.

Things that Walnut does not have

2009-08-07T11:32:00.003-04:00

1. Cable

2. Internet

3. Hot Water

4. A working Dryer

5. Video game system that was made in the year 2000 or beyond

Things Walnut does have

1. Incredible Movies
For those who have not seen Maiden Voyage Ocean Hijack that movie is incredible. Not only did VfB only last 5 minutes, but when we watched while bro-ing out. We A. watched it in fast forward B. Narrated it ourselves. Watch this Movie!

2. Bro Bros
So come and drink Frat Light and relax on our
a. deck
b. screen in porch
c. living room
d. Man Room
there is plenty of space for everybody!

3. Well that is about it.

Ron Artest Is A Crazy Person

2009-08-07T00:51:00.003-04:00

Give him a call.

This Is Awesome

2009-08-06T15:09:00.001-04:00

QT is GQ... or something

2009-08-06T14:22:00.003-04:00

Check it- QT's hot new single. My take: pace is just a little too quick for him to handle and he stumbles over himself a bit, making some stupid mistakes, but generally better than expected.

And yes, I'm at work.

Paula Abdul OUT

2009-08-05T15:23:00.000-04:00

For more info look for her updates on Twitter bc no one else cares enough to write about it.

She was kind of hot though back in the day.