Sunday, July 26, 2009

Orphan Spoiler Alert

Would you turn down an HJ if you knew she was 33?

Hey, you know that shitty movie that you're probably not going to watch? Well it turns out that there is a huge twist that puts the Lost game changer to shame. Shocking, I know. Esther, the orphan, apparently is a 33 year old hooker from the Ukraine or some bumfuck eastern bloc party country. Some other tidbits gleaned from Wikipedia:

- Esther likes watching Peter Saaarrrssgaaard and his wife have sex, then mentions to the mom that she enjoys them "fucking." At this point the audience still thinks she's nine years old. Won't someone please think of the children?!!

- Burns the tree house down that the brother is hiding in.

- Tries to seduce Peter Saaaarrrsgaaard and when that goes awry, stabs him in the heart.

- She dies because the other kid shots her or something.

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