Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A-Rod Center

Man, I bet it was a really tough production meeting for any upcoming Sports Centers.

Producer: Any good games on tonight?
Josh Elliot: Well, we had the Bobcats and the Clippers combine for like 9 air balls.
Producer: Alright, we'll run the A-Rod interview back-to-back. That should fill up 54 minutes. The final 6 minutes should be filled with yelling and hand gestures by all our baseball guys.

If you didn't see the interview (where the hell have you been?) then you're probably already sick by this coverage. In order to put it into perspective, the transcript is over 5,000 words long and some sick bastard actually analyzed which words A-Rod used the most. Enjoy:
• Mentions "God": three times.

• Says "honest": 13 times.

• "Truth": 12.

• "Steroid": three.

• Says "I": 324 times.

• "Me": 37.

• "My/self/ish": 16.

• Calls himself "stupid": nine.

•"Proud": six.

• "Naive": six.

• An "idiot": once.

• Says "baloney": once.

• "Culture": nine.

• "Selena Roberts": five.

• "Stalk/er/ing": two.

• Uses the invented words, "over-investigate(d)": twice.


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