Saturday, February 28, 2009

Overheard at Smith Center

"the trunchable"

It's never lonely at photographer's shooting location number 44. There are always people around me who have big ideas. One thing I miss about watching games on TV is not being able to hear the play-by-play and color commentary from CBS/ESPN/FSN/Raycom. But today, I got the best of both worlds.


Directly behind photographer's shooting location 44 is a row of floor seats. What I have learned this season is that there are always different people sitting in these seats. Today, I found out that they belong to Wachovia. Funny considering the bank is now Wells Fargo.


The chachbag sitting behind me in the Wachovia seats had substantial of play-by-play and color analysis for everyone within a 4-5 seat radius of him. He tried to go say hello to members of the Tar Heel Sports Network just before tip off and was redirected by the usher. His flash camera was also a serious point of concern for the Smith Center staff. He could not seem to turn off the flash and was scolded harshly by the usher, known as "the trunchable."


His knowledge of the Tar Heels was so deep that he even made a joke for everyone to hear about how there are three Tylers on the team this year.


Really? I only count two. I guess Tyler Lawson is our point guard now. I wish I had gotten this guy's name. He was the top story.

In News That No One Cares About...



Gossip Girl (yay!) will be the host of No Doubt's much-anticipated reunion in its season finale. And by much-anticipated, I mean who the fuck cares. I didn't even know No Doubt was still alive. I thought Hollaback Girl tore a hole in the fabric of the universe which created a black hole that sucked everyone associated with Gwen Stefani into oblivion. Well, anyways, thanks for ruining what would otherwise be an undoubtedly amazing episode.

How Good is Your Internet Education?


Some guy with way too much time on his hands has created a list of 99 things you should have seen on the internet.

I've only seen 63. FML.

Spotted



Greg Anthony at Top of the Hill hanging out with white dudes.

XOXO

Best Link Ever!

Best link ever!

Man, nothing beats UNC basketball with some Sauerkraut!!!

Carl Craig At Flex?

Come on. It starts at 22:30. It's only 18:26. Time to get our drink on. Basketball games are not fun on ESPN Gamecast.

Count Mel Kiper Jr.

Bearded One with the assist. I'm pointing unlike Hansbrough.



I want to drink Todd McShay's blood.

Video Wake Up

Straight from Europe.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Music video-->throw back of the week.

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding



Welcome Back



Jerry Seinfeld returns to NBC with a new show that if his name wasn't attached would be watched by precisely 4 people: The Marriage Ref.

The basic premise: someone decides arguments for couples about whether or not the husband wears the same shirt too much or watches too many sports (no, he doesn't). First featured couple is AJ Burnett and the Burgh.

Talk About It

New Weekly column

Here is my new idea for a weekly or whenever I feel like it posting series. The purpose is to point out annoying things that people do so that we can all better our lives in the long run.

Post 1: Ladies, when you throw a party at your house/apartment/wherever, please hide your tampons. No one likes to go pee and walk into the bathroom to see mountains of boxes of those shits all around.

100 Million Dollars

What can you buy with a hundred million dollars well let us see...

about 94,000,000 Junior Bacon Cheese Burgers. Yum. After taxes of course.


about 18,800,000 five dollar. five dollar. five dollar foot longsssss. After taxes of course.


about 10,000,000 pitchers of beer at Bob's. Including tip of course.


about 400,000 Eeyore tattoos, done by Byron at Warlocks in Raleigh



about 20 Baglietto 120 F - 1990 Yachts.


or 1 Albert Haynesworth. congratulations to the Washington Redskins for making easily the best investment ever. Not. I mean remember that time he stomped Andre Gurode face in? Well if not here is his pseudo mug shot.

Video Wake Up

Hey, remember when we played basketball on I-40? It went a little something like this:

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM


Anybody wanna watch lost?

Like I Was Saying Pt. 2

Taking em down left and right. 3-run 9th inning. Nothing but typical clutch Pirates play.

Tiger Update...


As I mentioned yesterday. Tiger is going to win the accenture matchplay tournament. He has a hot wife. He will beat Tim Clark. 2 and 1. (sorry for the late post) oh and by the way I got Furyk and T.Woods in the final.

You found what?

Citizens in Wisconsin are outraged by a story circulating around their local hospital that certain nurses took cellphone photos with their camera and posted them on their Facebook pages. Not only is this act a violation of HIPPA rights, but severely affects the patients right to privacy.

What were these pictures of? Yep, you guessed it: a sex toy in the butt.

The nurses have since taken down their Facebook accounts, and the investigation is still pending; however the moral of the story is clear. Don't go in the out door.



(Note: not actual picture...obviously)

Oldie but goodie



100 reason to love Rasheed Wallance.This is pretty old, but still pretty funny. Here are some highlights...

1. Got thrown out of the McDonald's All-American Game.
4. Tried to psych up his teammates by yelling, "Let's go out and play like we're Chicago on NBA Jam."



8. 10/11 FG, 25 points, 5 fouls in win at Duke, 2/2/95
21. Attempted to brawl with former teammate Chris Webber…in a pre-season game.

Further 'Sheed reading.

Video Wake Up

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Like I Was Saying. . .

World Series Champs? Puhlease.

I scored 8967 on bubble spinner

You might be a nerd...

if you understand this video. People in my accounting class thought this was funny as hell in class today. I might end up being an accountant. Fuck my life.


Pirates Dominance


Not only do we have 2 prospects in Baseball America's Top 100 Prospects list but we also have 11 players playing in the WBC. Suck my balls. Just wait for our 2009 World Series appearance.

If T.G.I. Friday's Served Sex



Courtesy of Holy Taco

More Good News

I think the following sentence has never been uttered before:
Thank you, the CW

Chuck Bass will be back for a whole new season. PS, this outfit is awesome.

The Beauties of the UNC One Card




EQUALS





Show your UNC One Card and get FREE Chili's bottomless chips and salsa. Holy fuck. I just came.

Best Basketball Shorts

This is a frickin toss up and a half for me. This is probably why I need to steal The Garbage Disposal's melatonin from time to time (I can't sleep at night for you fuckin retards out there.)




VS.


Best At-Bat Songs




What song would you choose for when you are walking into the batter's box? Here are some to think about (in no order):

Hell's Bells

Enter Sandman

My Morning Jacket- One Big Holiday

California Love

So Paid

Anything T.I or JT

Anything techno (obviously)

Pop that Pussy (can't forget that.)

Here's a link to every MLB team's at bat songs. Pretty funny.

Here's another one from ESPN page 3


(Note Freddy Sanchez's pick of a Timbaland song. Go Buccos)

Steve Lavin is a Basketball Genius



He just said Louisville could be #1 in the country. Really? Louisville? I cannot believe this man coached the same team as John Wooden. Pauley Pavilion should be renamed Steve Lavin is a Fucking Retard Center.

Marshawn Lynch>Ovechkin

The original Cart Man.

Maryland Plays Hitler Tonight





No one on the face of the earth hates anything as much as Maryland fans hate Duke. But now, there is a response to the most famous and easily least hatable UMD fan on earth's famous anthem of Duke hatred:


Its called This is Why They Hate it goes a little something like this.

Why Ovechkin is the Man: Reason #785



This is almost as frightening as Tony Danza's Go-Kart Experience:

No Wonder The Burgh Is In Love With Dwight Howard

They have the same rituals...

Should This Be On The Front Page Of CNN?

Elk Tangles With Bar Stool, Is Now Wearing It



I mean, really? Isn't there anything about Obama that they would like to discuss? In other news, that reporter's job sucks.

TIGER

So Tiger Woods is back. If you have not heard. He has a son. He is "feeling better than ever." He has a daughter. He has a smoking hot wife. He is a one seed. Phil is a two seed. Tiger is going to win the accenture match play tournament. So here is just today's prediction.

Coming off of 8 months rehab, he squeaks one by: 5 and 4 againist Brendan Jones.


oh and for your viewing pleasure...his smoking hot wife

Video Wake Up

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Sorry Charlie

As many of you heard, the great Charles Barkley was sentenced to up to 10 days in jail for driving drunk in Scottsdale, AZ. For those of you who don't remember, he was pulled over for running a stop sign because he was "in a hurry to drive around the corner to collect a sexual favor from a girl he had an encounter with," according to police. Of course, Barkley apologized,
"Clearly everybody knows I got a DUI. That's unacceptable, 100% my fault ... I screwed up, I made a mistake, I'm sorry, I apologize. Never get behind the wheel when I've been drinking."

BREAKING NEWS: Michael Jackson Becomes Duke's Basketball Coach

Bob's Beebs of the Day: Mardi Gras Edition

I Also Dislike Mark Teixara

But not as much as these guys:



Can we just boo Angelos?

So This Happened



What the fuck? How is this not the headlining story on every news source? The fact that I managed to pull off this good of a Russell Simmons costume surprises even me. And I don't get surprised easily. Which is why I'm with Julie Henderson, bitches.


For the record, my main bitch's PR agency released the following:
Hello, as Julie Henderson's publicist, I've read some unflattering blogs calling her a 'high fallutin' call girl' and a 'golddigger. Julie Henderson comes from a good family. Her grandfather Samuel Henderson invented the Henderson grapefruit in the 1960's and built an empire in Texas . She has been modeling for the past 7 years and is an accomplished Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue favorite appearing in the issue 3 years in a row.


I just want to say that I'm after that grapefruit money.

Sean Penn Is Everywhere



After winning an undeserved Oscar and being a douche, Sean Penn reprised his role as Jeff Spicoli for the Nets. (skip to the 20 second mark)

Video Wake Up

Smoke Monster Secret Finally Revealed!!!!



Actually, its just the mystery recruit for UNC whose identity has had everyone stumped at epic levels. And by mystery, I mean the recruit who was initially described as a 6'6" 255 pound multi-position player from Gatesville whose name rhymes with Damal Hixon.


By the way, in addition to being unable to qualify academically, Jamaal Dixon looks like the most unathletic person ever. Lets let his Head Coach Matthew Biggy (yes, really) tell us about his physique:
“As a freshman, I’ve been told he was about 300 pounds, but he was carrying a lot of baby fat,’’ Biggy said. “But he slimmed down and last year was playing about 230 pounds. We got him in the weight room as soon as the season was over and put a good bit of size on him. He was a pretty good football player as a junior, but as a senior he’s been real tough to deal with.’’
300 to 230? Really? He had 70 pounds of "baby fat"!?! I think we just recruited a roll of Pillbury Cookie Dough to play line. He's just gonna LOVE Hargrave.

Borderline Inappropriate Link of the Day

Because our main administrator who makes the rules can't be found, I'm playing this one safe. That, and I couldn't find an embed code. Just click. Jenna Haze is involved and its moderately funny.

If We Had Thought of This, It Would Have Been Funnier

Credit to the Bog:

Monday, February 23, 2009

Let's Close Out The Category, Alex

I'll Take Famous Blogs For $1000, Alex

Hat Trick

His smooth game off the ice has paralleled to a even smoother game on the ice in yesterdays 5-2 beat down of the Colorado Avalanche the 5 star athlete from East Chapel Hill High showed what he could do. The once sought after 7 sport star from East had his first hat trick since, well ever. His high flying game even made it into the top 10 SC plays so congrats. This bud is for you, Matt Cullen.

Nuggnut of the Week


Ah, Roy Williams, you're beginning to become a regular in this space. Maybe these numbers have something to do with it:

35 points 11 rebounds 10 assists

Perhaps a man to man defense was not the right choice. I guess when someone scores his team's first 16 points it's really not up to the coach to do something different. I know you like pictures, Roy, so here you go:



This is what I found on google when I searched 2+3 to symbolize the 2-3 zone. No wonder Roy doesn't know how to teach it. This diagram has nothing to do with basketball. On a related note, however, our players are getting really good grades in their environmental classes.