Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Nuggnut of the Week

This week's Nuggnut: Co-ed Magazine. Usually a bastion for awesome college girl pics and hilarious prose, they totally dropped the ball this week. This was no ordinary, fixable mistake, either. This was CHEERLEADER OF THE YEAR. That's a big award. I mean, the winner has a 50-50 shot of ending up in Playboy or porn within 5 years, so it's like a time machine for View From Below's porn collection. This year, the Co-ed Magazine Cheerleader of the Year is Whitney McMillan, a Senior Communications major at Old Dominion. Whitney likes such classic movies as Drop Dead Fred, is a big fan of Housewives of Orange County (she says she aspires to become one) and can talk like Donald Duck. Although moronically stupid, that is not why her appointment makes Co-Ed the Nuggnut of the week. The reason for that is, she looks like this:

Well, maybe it was a bad year, you say. After all, we already covered some weak Cheerleaders of the Week picks before. Well that huge-nosed giudette beat out girls like Holly "Cute Patootie" Simmons:And Cassie "Southern Belle" Adcock:
And Lauren Thompson:

Note: Lauren's in the middle. How awesome is that, though? Cheerleaders doing the shocker in uniform? How can she lose? Also, the girl on the left is the legendary Courtney Simpson. Porn and hot cheerleaders is a timeless combo. I bet they've scissored like 100 times.

Well done, Co-Ed Magazine, by picking the Vikings of this year's playoffs as your champion, you have earned the official title of Nuggnut.

Random Funny Duke Picture

Background: I retaught myself to read and am currently reading this book called "To Hate Like This is to be Happy Forever". It's about how much Duke sucks. High quality. Anyways, here's the juice:
The best part about the picture is that Coach Rat might actually be the most attractive person in it. And the tallest. And the least homebodied. Possible even the least Polish. Also, tell me you didn't think that this wasn't a picture of Lewis Skolnick with an Omega Mu. I think its a fair bet that if you didn't know that was K, you would totally think that these were the 2 kids in high school that everyone beat up and made fun of while they ate lunch in the band hallway. Of course, those 2 freaks were also the ones screwing each other's brains out all afternoon in the projector room of the auditorium. Gross. Meanwhile, that girl is a sea donkey. I've taken shits I'd rather perform cunnilingus to, seriously. There is no doubt that she is a rare member of the inhabitants of the Zone of PAIN mentioned earlier.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Designa Vagina

During the Georgetown vs. UConn game, Jay Bilas proceeded to say that Wake Forest was more athletic than North Carolina and the only reason UNC is ranked higher is because we have a man "like Ty Lawson who controls the speed of our game." Jay Bilas- I am usually pretty impressed with your relatively unbiased reporting despite being a dook alum; however that does not sound possible. Looking at the WF's schedule, they have barely beat UTEP and Richmond before starting ACC play. I'll give the Demon Deacons some credit; they are ranked 6th and 11-0, but their leading scorer, Jeff Teague, is averaging 18.7 ppg (they have 4 players averaging double digits) and their leading rebounder, Aminu, is averaging 9 boards per game.

Now, Mr. Bilas, lets take a look at UNC. Tyler Hansbrough is averaging 23.1 ppg (and breaking records nightly) while 5 other players are average double digits-while Ed Davis, Tyler Hansbrough, and Danny Green combine for more rebounds than WF's entire team. It seems to me a hard argument to support that any team is more athletic than UNC, although we have shown lapses in Defense at times during early games, we will not lose because of a lack of athleticism. Rather, because of an excess of goon-bashing that distracts every player but Hansbrough. I guess we'll find out Jan. 11th if I'm retarded or not.

Chicks with dicks and Doulds with Boobs

Sitting by myself after a destructive and harmfully awesome Bowl weekend, I realized that my preference for Ass over Tits has drastically changed to Tits over Ass as I got older. This might be due to the fact that girls are getting taller and I'm staying the same height=boobs are becoming more eye level for me and I appreciate them more. Regardless, I am confident that the nicest boobs are way more attractive than the nicest Ass...but talk amongst yourselves.Just kidding.

We'll call it a tie.

UNC vs. Rutgers - Studs and Duds

We're gonna institute a new segment of Bob's Porch (with apologies to Mr. Irrelevant), tentatively called Studs and Duds after every Carolina basketball game. That name is pretty gay though, so we'll have to change it. Suggestions welcomed. For now, in honor of the Muffler and Brake Bowl Weekend (note: no Studs and Duds for bowl game because I couldn't tell you a single 2nd half play), we'll group by Carolina QBs.

Darian Durant Category
Tyler Mansbrough: 26 points in 29 minutes. 10-15 from the floor. 1000th career rebound in his career and 800th career FT made. 'Nuff said.

Ty Lawson: That circus lay-up (go to 5:40 mark) in the 1st half. Also, the 17 other points on 8 for 12 shooting. Can you say lottery?

Marcus Ginyard: When he's not talking about his huge dong and bottom-feeding with ugly white chicks, the guy put up 4 boards, 3 assists and 3 points in 11 minutes in his first game-time action for months.

Big Time Bill: Only downside of Ginyard's return is the restriction its going to put on BTB's PT. The guy was all over the place like it was a Cluck-U.

Joe Dailey Category
Medium Game Wayne: I could have shot better circa halftime on Saturday. In fact, I wish I was that drunk when I have to watch Wayne shoot. Can we just play Clemson so it doesn't seem so preposterous that he even thought about the NBA last year? I think the only person on the floor shooting worse than Wayne at any given time is...

Booby Frasor: You know its a bad sign when everytime Booby hoists up a shot, no matter how open he is, everyone collectively has the same reaction every girl (including you, SS) would have to this guy's sexual advances if he wasn't on the team:
Diane Thompson: 3-8 for a big man? Are you kidding me? Also, if you're gonna suck balls on the offensive end of the floor, it'd be nice to at least pretend to D up on the other end.

PMoody's attempted drive: hilarious.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

more like de la homo.

This cat is ready to take on your little pussy any day Garbage.

Cat Loves Muhammad Ali - Funny - Amazing videos are here

Friday, December 26, 2008

Video Wake Up

De La Hoya of the cat world.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Video Wake Up

A classic returns. Merry Christmas from Bob's Porch.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Grinch of 2008

i present to you Roger Goodell, a man who obviously never got an Atari for Christmas as a little kid and is taking it out on anyone in his way. He just fined Wes Welker 10 grand for this snow angel celebration:

Bob's Beebs of the Day

Christmas Edition 2008

Worst. Christmas. Ever

So, this kid is dying to open his presents, presumably given to him by Liz Lemon. Obviously, he goes for the big box and is shocked to discover that it contains an Xbox 360, since apparently Daddy finally paid child support or stole a truck or something else completely unrelated to Christmas. But, upon opening it, he finds it full of clothes. How much does that SUCK? How big of a swing of emotions is that? That's like the evil twin of Trimane Goddard's Pick of Destiny against Miami. Pure elation to total heartbreak faster than the Yankees overpay for initials (as an aside, seriously, they paid like $80 million apice for 2 C's and $70M apiece for an A and a J- can't they bail out GMC?)
The best part, though, is his parents laughing in the background and saying how they can't afford an Xbox, as if the kid didn't know this already by looking at all the other shitty presents under the tree or looking in the mirror, or opening food stamps every week. I mean, its bad enough you're poor, but don't need to rub it in the kid's face. You just ruined Christmas, man.

Christmas Movie Showdown - South Region

Another tough bracket. A lot of animation here. Muppets vs. Rudolph in the 2nd round could be a fight for the ages. Stay tuned.

South Results:
#3 A Muppet Christmas Carol vs. #6 Christmas in Connecticut: What the fuck is Christmas in Connecticut? This is rated really highly on every single Christmas movie list but I've never even heard of this flick. How old is this, anyways? Was it filmed on parchment? Is it just caveman drawings? On that note, I'm willing to admit I'm in the minority.

Outcome: Ok, turns out CiC blows. Jim Henson wins.

#4 Frosty the Snowman vs. #5 Nightmare Before Christmas: Well, I'll be the first to admit that Frosty got a little screwed in his seeding. That being said, parts of the movie don't really make any sense and its less Christmasy than just about winter in general. I mean, Santa only exists to save Frosty- where are the presents and Christmas cheer? However, Nightmare is more associated with Halloween, just because its a creepy Tim Burton movie.

Outcome: When it came down to it, Nightmare before Christmas is just too much of a Halloween movie in people's minds. Plus, Frosty is a classic, even if it does make no sense whatsoever.

#1 Elf vs. #4 Frosty the Snowman: "BYE BUDDY, HOPE YOU FIND YOUR DAA-AD"- Elf.

#3 Muppet's Christmas Carol vs. #2 Rudolph: Interesting showdown. If you play Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer muted and listen to Akon, T-Pain, and Lil Wayne songs, it syncs up perfectly. I think this is a good tiebreaker. Seriously, try it.

#1 Elf vs. #2 Rudolph:
"Buddy the Elf! What's your favorite color?"

Christmas Movie Showdown - North Region

Much more of an oldies bracket than the West Region. Possible potential match-up of original Miracle on 34th St. vs. It's a Wonderful Life is enough to make Jimmy Stewart shake in his boots. Keep in mind, basis of competition is awesomeness, relation to Christmas, how much you associate the movie with Christmas, entertainment value, number of boobs seen, whatever else you think is important.

North Results:
#3 How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Original) vs. #6 Die Hard: Couldn't be two more different flicks facing off in this match-up. On the one hand, Die Hard is a bad ass movie, but its association with Christmas is sketchy at best. Just because there's a Christmas party at the beginning doesn't make it a Christmas movie. Plus, the party is broken up by Professor Snape, so there's that. The original Grinch is a classic, but its only like 20 minutes long, so take that as you will. My family still has roast beast on Christmas because of this movie, though. Also, hard to argue with Boris Karloff.
Grinch: "Your soul is an appalling dung heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots"
Die Hard: "Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash. "

Outcome: Boris Karloff stomps out John McClain with pure Christmas spirit. Don't get me wrong, Die Hard is badass as fuck, but when Christmas cheer is ended by Snape, well then its not a very good Christmas movie.

#4 Home Alone 2 vs. #5 Holiday Inn: New vs. Old battle here. Home Alone 2 is way more christmasy than the first one, but the old lady with the birds still gives me nightmares. I think that takes away from general awesomeness. Holiday Inn is a classic, though.

Outcome: Although Holiday Inn can lay claim to the song "White Christmas", the actual movie White Christmas used it to win its dogfight in the first round, which happened before this one. Sorry, Fred GAYstaire, you lose this round.

#1 It's a Wonderful Life vs. #4 Home Alone 2: The fucking birdlady, man. Scares the shit out of me. Sorry, It's a Wonderful Life gets the wings.

#2 Miracle on 34th Street vs. #3 Original Grinch: The more I think about it, the original Grinch is so damn good. The rhyming, the animation, the Whos, the songs. It's all so good. No quantity of letters can change this outcome.

#3 Original Grinch vs. #1 It's A Wonderful Life: To be honest, It's a Wonderful Life is on TOO much. Plus its long as shit. When you're sitting around, drinking Santa's Secret and you want to watch a Christmas movie, which blu-ray are you more likely to throw in? Unless you got a box of (sad) tissues and 4 hours to kill, the answer is Grinch, hands down.

Christmas Movie Showdown - West Region

Interesting notes on this bracket: mostly comedies, mostly all very Christmas based. Possibly the toughest bracket in the Showdown.

West Results:
#3 Home Alone vs. #6 Polar Express: First off, Home Alone got a rough seeding and is, in my opinion, clearly the best 3 seed in the tourney (and yes, I made the seedings). However, in this case, I don't think it matters, as Polar Express is way overrated in this Showdown. I don't know how it got in, to be honest. Unless you like creepy semi-human animations, this movie sucks balls. Although the railcar dance scene is pretty sweet.
Home Alone: "Keep the change, ya filthy animal"
Polar Express: Weird, but kinda cool, dancing scene in the railcar

Outcome: Home Alone in a landslide. Let's be serious.

#4 Bad Santa vs. #5 Grinch (Remake): Personally, I'm not a fan of the Carrey Grinch, but alot of people are, so there could be an upset in the works. Then again, how can you not like whisky drinking Santa Claus? Especially if he's also railed Angelina Jolie. I mean, let's be honest.

Outcome: BBT and his vial of Jolie blood overcomes Jim Carrey's bad makeup in a squeaker. When it comes down to it, the remake just makes you think of how shitty of a remake that movie was and how awesome the original was. Bad Santa benefits from an overrated opponent.

#1 Christmas Vacation vs. #4 Bad Santa: This comes down to comedy. Remember the first time you saw Christmas Vacation? Chevy Chase was so on point with his timing and comedy that you probably pissed your pants. Also, anyone who tells you they don't get a chubber during the pool dream sequence will also probably tell you WHAM!'s version of Last Christmas is the best Xmas song.

#3 Home Alone vs. #2 Santa Clause: Both classic movies with a series of sequels. However, Home Alone 2 is the Godfather II to Santa Clause 2's When Harry Met Lloyd. Sure Home Alone 3 blows, but can it really be held responsible for that if Macauly Culkin isn't even involved in the production? This showdown says no. Plus the soundtrack for Home Alone rocks.

#3 Home Alone vs. #1 Christmas Vacation: Riding high off a tough win against Santa Clause, Home Alone pulls an upset. Why? Because I just watched Home Alone and I felt like it.

Christmas Movie Showdown - East Region

East Results:
#3 White Christmas vs. #6 Just Friends: White Christmas is a pretty solid movie, but a little dated. Just Friends isn't so much a Christmas movie, so it loses points there, but its hilarity should more than make up for it.
White Christmas: Classic song
Just Friends: You're Chris Brander, you're Hollywood, you date supermodels. He's Dinkelman, he's Jersey, he skis in his jeans.

Outcome: Chris Brander and Jamie Palomino fall just short of an upset bid. I mean, Bing freakin Crosby, man. Bing freakin Crosby.

#4 Love Actually vs. #5 Scrooged: I'm not gonna lie, I've never seen Scrooged. Someone else debate this one.

Outcome: The people have spoken. Apparently Scrooged is good as shit. I'll add that to the list of movies I'll say I've seen but haven't from now on. Apparently Carl Spackler is a versatile actor.

#1 A Christmas Story vs. #5 Scrooged: I'm not going to dignify this with an explanation. A Christmas Story.

#3 White Christmas vs. #2 Charlie Brown: In an upset, White Christmas beats Charlie Brown. Think of a Christmas song, chances are Bing Crosby sings it in White Christmas. Sure its campy, but it might as well take place in the manger its so full of Christmas shit. Charlie Brown can make a comeback in 10 months for the Halloween Movie Showdown.

#1 A Christmas Story vs. #3 White Christmas: What A Christmas Story lacks in schmaltz, it more than makes up for in comedy and pure timelessness. A Christmas Story walks into the Final Four.

Video Wake Up

It's Christmas Eve. Is there a better way to begin the day than with Heidi Klum serenading you?

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Terrible Cheerleader of the Week Part Deux

Bucco brought up a good point and I cannot dismiss it that easily. I mean, did SI run out of hot cheerleaders? Every girl on USC's song squad is better than this burnt orange Oompa Loompa from Western Michigan. Kalamazoo. Really? I guess places like Athens, Baton Rouge, Austin, and God forbid Durham have such fugly girls that they dare not grace the pages of Here is a legit comparison from two SI Cheerleaders of the Week. And in no way am I biased. Although, before we get to the pics let's rifle (i bet her dad would love that) through some choice quotes included in her interview.

My worst habit is:

Swearing. I smile like a saint and swear like a sailor.

(At least her pearly whites are showing when she fights your mom over the last glass of Franzia. Classy.)

I'd love to trade places for a day with:

Jessica Alba. I would love to know how it feels to be that gorgeous.

(This is obviously a typical girl statement where they throw out feelers to see if anyone responds with "girl, you don't need to be Jessica Alba, you're hotter than her." Well let me be the one to say this: If Jessica Alba lived in a tanning bed, got run over by a truck, and lived in Kalamazoo, then yes you are that hot.)

Three things I'd take to a desert island are:
A lifetime supply of Hooters chicken strips with blue cheese, my puppy and my iPod.

(I have a confession. At this point I might want to marry her.)

Then again...

The worst date I've ever been on was:

When I brought my date over to meet my parents before we went to dinner, my dad brought out his shot gun and started cleaning it. Already scared, my date looked around and noticed my dad's target in the shape of a human with a red dot on the heart. He then asked my father why he was cleaning his gun and my dad replied with a sly look and said, "Just protection..." After that he never asked me on a date again and all the other guys were scared to ask me out.

I might have to break this up into another part because her answers are just outrageous. Wait...what's that?...I'm forgetting something? Oh, right, the pictures:

Terrible Cheerleader of the Week

Is it just me or is SI's cheerleader of the week, Kylee Ann Crawford, incredibly homely and fugly. I mean, yeah, after six drinks you'd take her home but after six drinks you'd also probably take home Pink or even Fergie. But this just does not warrant CoW status. Ew. Horse mouth.

She seems really bright too:

I love my school, but I almost went to:
Jackson Community College, but I need a university degree for my major and obviously couldn't give up cheerleading. So naturally, I went with the decision to be a Bronco.


Link to more of Ms. Crawford:

Cheerleader of the Week

Bob's Beebs of the Day

Today we have a bit of foreign flavor for you. So, grab a bite of paella and drink it down with Elsa Pataky. Born Elsa Lafuente Medianu she certainly puts the fuego in en fuego. Her most famous role was starring in Samuel L. Jackson's masterpiece "Snakes on a Plane." And what did she do in her free time during filming? "So when I was waiting around the set, I’d hang out with the snake handlers." I guess that means she was hanging around Samuel L. a lot. Hiyo! See what I did there? I alluded to the size of the actor's phallus.

Video Wake Up

Hey, Bucco, it's catching on. If Obama taught us anything it is that you should never "pound it" when presented a fist. Any sensible person, *cough* John McCain *cough* would know the proper etiquette, as would Jon Stewart.

Yes Man? Yes Game?

Has topped the box office after grossing 18 plus million dollars, I am not sure how this happened considering one of the greatest actors/rappers of all time, Will Smith, opened his new movie as well. Considering Will Smith has eight consecutive 100 million dollar box office hits, one must take this weekend as a sign for things to come...

Even the Bark Knight can not say No

Breaking News

Bob's Porch is confirming reports that it has pulled out of the running for Mark Teixeira. That is all. Carry on with your lives, for I clearly do not have one.

(Also, there appears to be a bit of activity on the NBA side of things. Apparently the Bobcats are shopping Emeka Okafor and Raymond Felton. Don't be surprised if they are traded before the end of the week. They'll probably be included in a package to Golden State for Rob Kurz, a bag of Doritos, and those Cuban cigars that MJ really likes. You heard it hear first.)

On a completely unrelated note: Hey, With Leather, my post about broken legs called and it wants royalties

Monday, December 22, 2008

Bob's Beebs of the Day

I swear, my parents are purposely dragging me about town and thwarting my attempts to add daily beebs. Although it's a moot point considering they control my finances and I'll roll over like the French. Wow, that is a perfect segue into today's lady, Kate French. She is one of the stars of The L Word on Showtime. Looking forward to that season 6 premiere on Jan. 18. On the show she enjoys making out with women, being naked around women, and oil wrestling with women. We have so much in common. God bless you, Kate America.

Video Wake Up

I feel like the Bark Knight is taking over.

What do you think John Madden:

John: You see, Al, the dog zagged when he should have zigged and BOOM! Chawadahahwa...Brett Favre!

I'm not gay, I promise.

I know there have been a lot of "of the days" and "of the weeks" lately, but now that we are on break and I have watched 20 movies in the last 2 days, there are just some dudes that I would love my girlfriend more if she slept with them. Mancrush of the week: Jason Statham
Not only is he a world-class athlete, but he plays the same badass character in every movie...and he nails it every time. The coolest thing about him is that he describes the movie "Crank" as something similar to his life-in which he has sex with Amy Smart publicly in China Town. He has the body Garbage Disposal always wanted and the haircut the Bearded One has been trying for since Freshman year. I tip my cap Mr. Statham.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Nuggnut of the Week

I'm glad to see we are getting more foot traffic around these parts, so now would be an ideal time to introduce a new concept to the blog. This feature will be posted on Sunday of each week and focuses on an individual or thing that really grinds our gears, is a knucklehead, or just goes against the principles that Bob's Porch stands for. This person/thing will be referred to as the "Nuggnut of the Week" in reference to those new McNuggets commercials. Because if you choose those bland, dried, sorry excuses for nuggets over Chick-fil-A's golden, delicious, juicy (Bob's Porch is accepting sponsors)chicken bites, then you, sir, are a nuggnut.

This week we had quite a plethora of candidates to choose from. Among others Charles Barkely mouthed off on racism, Rafeal Furcal became forever linked to Judas and Benedict Arnold in the eyes of Braves fans, and Stephon Marbury paid almost 3 grand to taunt the Knicks from his courtside seat. Ultimately, though, we chose someone who came into the running at the last minute. We now present to you, the first ever Nuggnut of the Week:

Caulton Tudor

Why him you ask? Well, because he picked Duke to win the ACC this year and he wrote one of the most pathetic excuses for a column I have ever seen. It describes Tyler Hansbrough's mom and her new position in the UNC Dental School. Here are some choice excerpts:

It gives off the appearance of insider trading and back-room conniving. That perception may be entirely off-base, but it's just the sort of thing that colleges should avoid.

For a school that traditionally has maintained an enviable reputation for solid athletic citizenship, the move was a blow to its image.

When schools start putting the parents of star athletes on the payroll, the potential implications are limitless. It's a step in a dangerous direction.

Just a baseless attack on the university. Hey, Caulton, the N&O has an enviable reputation for solid journalistic reporting, but keeping you was a blow to its image. How does that look in writing? I may be a college student, but my reporting is infinitely better than yours because, guess what, Duke got away with something even more despicable and nobody seems to care. Let me refresh this scenario for you.

Chris Duhon and Carlos Boozer were highly recruited out of high school. Is it a coincidence that Duhon's mom and Boozer's dad were given cooshy jobs by boosters before they signed on to play at Duke? An article in the New Orleans Times-Picayune doesn't think so:

Duhon's mother, Vivian Harper, landed a job working for a Duke booster; co-workers say the job opening was never posted and that Harper was overpaid and lacked qualifications. When a manager at the company asked why Harper was moving from Louisiana, supervisors informed him that her son, one of the nation's top recruits, had signed to play at Duke.

There's more. Peters also reports that Carlos Boozer Sr., the then-unemployed father of former Duke star Carlos Boozer, was given a job at GlaxoSmithKline, a pharmaceutical company owned by Robert Ingram, who is a close friend of Coach K's. In order to take the job, the elder Boozer relocated from Alaska.

Sure I might be biased, but Tudor, you are a hack and should be fucking reprimanded for this shoddy attempt at investigative journalism. The National Inquirer wouldn't even give you a job. If only your son played D1 ball, eh?

Also, thanks for including this picture of Hansbrough. I suppose your next article on J.J. Redick will also include his mugshot? Sorry for the long entry, but this really pissed me off and if you're still reading this I'll buy you a pitcher.

UNC Gets it Wrong

Football is Safe

With an assist to the Bearded One, this video is not for the faint of heart. Southern Mississippi receiver DeAndre Brown fractured his lower left leg and was taken to the hospital during the first quarter of Sunday nights New Orleans Bowl against Troy. Now this brings up the debate if this was the worst leg break of the season. I say no. Video two shows Houston receiver Patrick Edwards running full tilt into a cart. Make sure you havn't eaten anything for a while before watching this.

Bob's Beebs of the Day

Ah Billie Piper, from Showtime's Secret Diary of a Call Girl, you are a delight. Sure you may be from England, no one knows you, and your ranking in FHM has plummeted faster than the stock market (2006: #11 # 2007: #47, # 2008: #94) you're still #1 in my heart. Hell, you give hope for all guys because you married this guy when you were 19. Did I mention he's also 16 years older. They were married for 6 years. In other news, doctors declared Billie legally blind.

(I like the word you and any variation of it)

Best Christmas Movie Ever?

AOL published a list of the top 25 best Christmas movies of all time, their top 10 is as follows:

  1. A Christmas Story
  2. It's A Wonderful Life
  3. Miracle on 34th Street (1947 version)
  4. Scrooged
  5. White Christmas
  6. Elf
  7. Christmas in Connecticut
  8. Home Alone
  9. Babes in Toyland
  10. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
Although i agree with the #1 seed and the list in general, I have several issues with AOL's list. First off they left of TV specials, negating Charlie Brown's Christmas and Rudolph.

Also, "A White Christmas" at number 5? That's almost as ridiculous as the Big 12's tie breaker system. How could you leave out classics such as "The Santa Clause", "The Muppet Christmas Carol", and most importantly "Love Actually"?

Coach K has Special Powers

Coach K deserves to be commended. He is an absolutely brilliant coach. Not only has he managed to completely avoid playing out of conference away games on the opposing team's campus for 6 years, he has also managed to get fellated for his "tough" out of conference schedule. Most importantly though, Coach K can see the future. Year after year, he looks into his crystal Dickie V head and sees which top 25 teams will be total frauds and schedules the shit out of them. This year, he got Purdue (He had to plan years in advance to get them scheduled for the Challenge) and Xavier. Xavier looked like a high school team, and it had nothing to do with Dook's defense. It doesn't take great defense to intercept the pass thrown right at you or to throw the ball back in after the other team passes it 5 rows up the stands. Moral of the story: the Midwest sucks balls. Well that, and Coach K can see the future.

Also, I got news for you, New Jersey is not an away game for Dook. Really? New Jersey? As in the #1 supplier of Dook students, New Jersey? As in the home to the majority of alumni, whose self-righteous career with a non-profit or as a perfomance artist can't pay for a NYC apartment- that New Jersey? Really? Are you freakin kidding me?

In Case You Are Curious

Here is a little map for you world travelers that shows the age of consent for various countries around the world. If you can't read the key, the greens are some sort of 16-18 range. Blues are 12-13 and anything with a dot is mandatory marriage. Enjoy!

NFL Picks

Steelers (-2) over TITANS
Dolphins (-4) over CHIEFS
PATRIOTS (-8.5) over Cardinals
BROWNS (-2.5) over Bengals
Eagles (-5) over REDSKINS
49ers (-5.5)over RAMS
BUCCANEERS (-3.5) over Chargers
Falcons (+3.5) over VIKINGS
Saints (-7) over LIONS
Panthers (+3) over GIANTS
Jets (-4.5) over SEAHAWKS
Texans (-7) over RAIDERS
BRONCOS (-6.5) Bills
BEARS (-4) over Packers

Upset Watch: Packers
Blowout of the Week: Eagles over 'Skins
Game to Watch: (Tie) Steelers-Titans, Giants-Panthers

Bob's Porch Official Meineke Car Care Bowl Tailgate and my next door neighbor

Warning: this is not funny, and not very entertaining, but contains important info.

Will take place Saturday December 27th, starting at 9 am (would start earlier but lots don't open until 9).

Will take place at 616 South Cedar St which is right next to the stadium and really easy to find off of I-77, here is the google maps link
View Larger Map
Parking is $20.

Show up, get bombed

On the lighter side, I met my neighbor yesterday, this is her

Big thanks to the Bark Knight who set up the meeting.

Video Wake Up

Fine, dogs it is.

Smoking Balls...(Video Wake Up Bonus)

Some dudes are just different...

(ed note:fixed to start at funny part)

Also, don't miss out on the posts from last night.

All I want for Christmas is...Nick Cannon

In honor of the holiday, here are my top three gifts to get your Tar Heel...if you don't agree, I don't care. You're not getting a gift anyway.

1. Upper deck tickets to the Meineke Car Care Bowl to see Carolina play the Mountaineers. And don't forget the essential mason jar of Corn Whiskey (which has been proven very easy to bring into Bank of America Stadium and drink merrily). Rough cost=$50 for Tickets and parking.

2. Since you're probably a broke college kid reading this (or a successful banker-I hate you), then a simple gift certificate to Chik-Fil-a will do. I've seen it unite even the most attractive people (and apparently its where all the hot chicks eat- that doesn't make sense). Rough Cost=$25.
3. In the event you are a parent reading this, then I apologize for the offensive comments. But in the true Carolina Way, a great gift for your Tar Heel (not including spring break in Jamaica or the Bahamas) would be a job. It would really help me and my roommates out so that we don't turn into this(note-this is me freshman year). Rough Cost-a $0.25 call to that high-ranking board member that owes you a favor or you caught masturbating in his office on tape.

(Garbage Disposal Note: Had to save the last image on my computer so it would show up. Hopefully my dad doesn't find it...)